Master your emotions, live a joyful life.

Have you ever experienced being scolded for no reason at all? I believe that this situation

has happened before to most of us. Do you recall how was your reaction when you were

faced with this situation? Did you raise your voice while trying to reason with the other

person in anger? Or were you secretly scolding the other person in your heart while trying

hard to stay quiet? When one scolds the other is he in the right? When one is being scolded,is he in the wrong?

Usually when an argument happens, its not a matter of who is right and who is wrong, the

reason of the disagreement stems from which angle are you standing at. For example, the

cursive “M”, upright, it looks like an “M”, upside down, it looks like a “W”, sideways, it looks

like number “3”. If we only take time to understand, accept and respect opposing views, we

will have less misunderstandings and arguments. Of course, many times our elders, bosses,colleagues, friends will reprimand us out of concern, however most of the time, we scold others or get scolded due to emotions getting out of hand and having to release the pent-up frustrations somewhere.

Modern living is increasingly hectic and busy, we can easily become anxious and depressed carrying so many responsibilities and with all the pressure. We easily lose control of our

emotions when things do not go our way. When this happens, we tend to lash out in anger

towards the people around us. We often blame others for the pains and hurts that we felt in

our lives. When we do this, we fail to reflect on ourselves and we react by scolding the

people around us to release these pent-up emotions. Not only is the real problem not being

resolved, relationships are broken resulting in more hurts and pains.

Mastering one’s emotions is very important. Regardless of whether we are the ones

scolding others or on the receiving end, we must choose to be patient. Take a deep breath,

count to ten and calm down. When we find ourselves in a situation where we are out of

control of our emotions, we should excuse ourselves first and resume the discussion after

the waves are settled. If the other person is the one losing control, we should just keep

quiet and let the other person express their frustration, do not raise your voice as it will only

add oil to the fire, if this keeps going on and on, the best way is to let the person know that

you understand where he is coming from and move on to solve the issue. The reflection and

analysis that takes place later is more important, once we can think of the issue objectively,

we will be able to determine whether the problem is with ourselves, or with the other

person, or perhaps both parties are in the wrong. If we realized that we are the ones with

the problem, then we should be bold to admit our mistakes and improve ourselves. If it’s

the other person having the problem, perhaps we should learn to accommodate them and

not take it to heart. If both parties are wrong, we should learn to communicate to solve the

issue and talk it out not lash out at one another. If someone lashes out at you, try to calm

down and listen, do not react in anger towards the person, instead try to work on what is

causing the other person to react so negatively. When we do this, we might discover that it

could be just a small issue that causes people to vent out on us and the issue can be settled easily. But the real problem might be the frustration and bitterness that come from the

heart of that person and we just happen to be the innocent passer-by who accidentally

stepped on the landmine at the wrong time which blew up into our faces. We might feel

sorry for ourselves for being caught in the crossfire, but its more pitiful to be the one who

has all these pent-up emotions.

In today’s society, we are no stranger to tragic news about acts of violence which happen as a result of outburst of emotions. In life, everyone goes through intense emotions, both

positive and negative ones. Positive emotions coupled with the correct motives can be used

to help and train people, negative emotions will bring destruction and hurt to people. Let us

not vent out our negative emotion on others. What is more important is that we do not let

the negative emotions of others dictate how we feel and what we do. There is much

wisdom in the bible verse that states “In your anger do not sin”.

I admit that I am naturally a bad-tempered person, I can become a very difficult person

when I am angry and most of the people who close to me has experienced this first hand.

Therefore, God has trained me how to control and master my emotions since I was young,

since then till now, I have done a fair amount of hard work on this area of my life and I am

still improving day by day. I believe that the root of all begins at the heart! First, we must

not allow others to control how we feel, be patient, do not make mountains out of

molehills. Although there are times when I am caught unaware and reach my limits but I

learn to state my views firmly while maintaining my composure. Secondly, I spend some

quiet time with God daily to draw His strength for inner peace.

There is a verse in the bible that says : “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you

do flows from it.” Let us always guard our hearts, become a peaceful and stable person,

adopt the right thinking and approach situations with an open mind, so that when we deal

with others, we can act with maturity and wisdom. This way we can have favour with others

and live a joyful life.